(19) Meltdown!

Rach had a phone call, Dr Richard Curtis was available to see her on the 21st Nov at 12pm.
I arranged with my boss the time off, it had been quite a while since I had spoken to him, was good to update him, I felt very emotional but kept it together as people were walking past his office as it was home time.
I was at my lowest again, why was I crying when this meant the world to Rach.
I got home from work a couple of days later to be met with the Dr Yellend appointment too.
It was Dr Curtis on the 21st and the following week, 30th it was Dr Yelland in Brighton. I panicked as I had to go to them both. I felt awful asking for another day off. As luck had it I was a member of the union who had decided on strike action that day!
I had totally withdrew myself now, I couldn't think straight, I can not put into words the emotional break down I was experiencing. This operation was what I had been dreading, what if she regretted it, the pain she was going to be in. I had researched the procedure and I didn't like the idea, my little girl had never been in hospital never mind be under the surgeons knife. I was so alone, I would be in Brighton pacing the floors waiting to bring her home. I was in meltdown mode!

The weekend before Dr Curtis's appointment I met as usual with my family, my elder sister had come to join us this was the second week on the trot. I tried my best to be part of the usual banter but once again I didn't feel like I was there, I was in a world miles away from this one.
Later that evening I received a random text off my eldest sis inviting me up for tea the following Tuesday, I agreed as I would appreciate that after the Monday in London.
I then realised that something must have been discussed, I called my younger sis and she said she had told them I was going to hell and back and not one of them had been in touch or discussed anything with me and how alone I was feeling.
The following day I had a very tearful conversation over the phone with my other sis who rang me.
I felt much better now, my support network was there again, other than my very close friends I had not spoken to anybody about it.
It was off to bed ready for a very early start and hopefully no cancellation!