I thought back alot to her childhood, poor kid...Born when the Gulf conflict was declared and number one in the charts, Iron Maiden, Slaughter your daughter!!
Rachel's childhood was a happy one, she grew to love footy just like her dad, she had a brother Matt when she was 3 and a 1/2, a perfect sister, she helped me to do the usual chores a new born entailed.
Rach was very close to her aunts and uncles and lots of cousins, we met up regularly and all the children played together Rach always kicking a ball or having a rough and tumble with the older ones getting dirty and been one of the lads!
Rach was a tomboy from a very early age, I was not a stereotypical mum and bought her a garage for her 2nd birthday, dolls were left untouched, I had no concerns because as a youngster I was not a dolly lover and had played for hours with my own brothers cars.
Rach joined a football club at 4 and adored Saturday mornings.
By the time Rach was about to move to High School I began to worry as all of her friends were boys, my worry was that they would not want to hang around with her, I spoke to her junior school teacher and asked that she was mixed into girl groups whenever possible.
Clothing had become an issue at about the age of 9, shopping trips were a nightmare clothes she liked I didn't, again I had no concerns as my older nephews were telling her she should be wearing Nike and Adidas, tracksuits were what everybody was wearing.
My brother was getting married in April 99, thank goodness he didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid, he did ask that she wear a dress and I agreed that was appropriate and she should for once make an effort. We compromised, a Reebok tennis dress in blue, I never saw her in a dress again.
I still had no idea that Rach was beginning to discover she shouldn't be in the body she was born.
When Rachel was 9 I left her dad. I moved into a different house with both of my children. Life was much better.
A couple of years later Rach began to have problems which we now realise were anxiety issues, CAMHS were involved, everything was blamed on the breakdown of my marriage, Rach couldn't understand this prognosis as she had pleaded with me on a number of occasions to leave her dad, she didn't challenge it but had support from teachers in school who nurtured her through.
Yes, she is doing the right thing, as hard as I am coping I have to give her my approval and make this journey as easy as possible together.
Coping is perhaps the wrong word but if you are a parent you want to protect your child, you would die for them, I see my child putting themselves into a world where there are alot of prejudices and conflict towards trans people, life is always going to be that little bit tougher.
From the beginning this has always been my worry, yes we live in a much more diverse world but there is always somebody who achieves a big thrill on destroying somebody's life!
No comments:
Post a Comment