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Tuesday, 29 November 2011

(8) Psychiatrist Appointment

Things were very much emotionally the same. We both found it hard to talk about it, Rach hated to see me upset and I hated to feel so useless and unsupportive.

Each time we had a discussion we lasted about ten minutes before it began to get heated and we said things we both didn't want to hear. 
During one chat, Rach informed me that she had already been to see the psychiatrist at Harplands and had another appointment on the 28th Feb.
At the beginning I had insisted that I would attend any appointments she may have, Rach wanted to attend the first one on her own as she was unsure herself what would be discussed and didn't want me there as I was an emotional wreck!
I was going to attend the second one. One problem, how do I get a day off work...I need to talk to my boss and put him in the picture, easier said than done!
I kept putting off this conversation all week and then on the Friday I asked to speak to him for a couple of minutes. My first words were, I apologise if I get upset, I hadn't even finished the sentence when I was a blubbering wreck.  My boss was so understanding and supportive and told me I had to see the psychologist for support, I did explain that Julia was my first confidante, he immediately sent her a text and told her she was my support, no pressure for Julia then!

I had another meeting with Julia, I needed to know what to expect from this meeting with the psychiatrist. Julia did explain that this appointment was for the family too, to help with guidance and to point me in the right direction, I hoped it would be more successful than what my doctor could prescribe; I was offered anti depressants and a sick note. No thank you! I wanted to be in control and not drug my emotions also sitting around at home was certainly not an option, I cope much better when I carry on as normal, I should know, life has dealt me some cards on the way!

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