My emotions were all over the place, I knew I had to accept this path as I was not going to lose my child but a big part of me was still in denial.
Whilst lying in bed on the Sunday evening I was trying to come up with a plan to stop her from doing this.
Rach had been out that night and I was still lying awake when she got home. I shouted her to come into my room.
I said to her that if she was really serious she should tell her Dad, and I wanted to be with her when she did.
I was hoping for her usual response when her dad was mentioned, but no...'Ok I will tell him, he has never cared about me so it's no loss'.
Unfortunately for Rach when the marriage broke down so did the relationship she once had with her dad!
I had a call off Rach Monday lunchtime, she had invited her dad to come around to our house that Monday night, he was going to be there at 7.
I was in a nervous state now, he had only ever stepped inside the hallway on two occasions and the thought of having to have a conversation with a man who totally ignored me in the street and had done dreadful things across me over the years filled me with dread.
This was about Rach not me, not him.
I prepped myself so I could be there for Rach, because no doubt he would certainly say what he was thinking! And I had to keep my hands off him, I hated this man with such a passion he finds emotions in me I never knew I had!!
He rang me at 5, demanding to know what it was Rach needed him for. I asked him to just come around and for once do something that Rach wanted him to do, he said he would not be bringing Matt because if there was anything to tell him he would do it. Little did he know, Matt already knew.
7 o'clock on the dot, knock at the door. Rach opened it, he refused to come in, telling her to tell him on the doorstep. It took her a couple of minutes to encourage him to step inside. He stood in the hallway, I shouted to him to come into the lounge to sit down as what Rach had to say, he needed to be sitting.
He reluctantly came into the lounge and after a few prompts to sit on the sofa he did. I was sat in the armchair and Rach sat on the bean cube as close to me as she could get, she held my hand.
Rach took a deep breath but could not start the conversation, he didn't help by telling her to hurry up as he hadn't got long he would leave in a minute if she didn't tell him.
I focused on a shrub through my French doors and kept telling myself this was for Rach not me, not him. It was an experience that will live with me forever.
Rach looked at me very tearful and said, 'Can you tell him'?
I told her she had to do it as it was her decision to do what she had planned. After another couple of attempts and her dad becoming very agitated I blurted out...
Rach has Gender Dysphoria!
He hadn't a clue what it was but Rach took over then.
45 minutes later I asked him to leave as I felt I could have done him some damage.
This was his perfect opportunity to blame me for everything that had gone wrong.
- It was my fault that the marriage ended, so Rach developed GD
- I should not have allowed her to have her hair cut short, this was a cause of GD
- Matt living with him was my fault
- Me having a relationship with another man 12 months after our marrige was over, that caused GD
- The pathetic list went on and on and on.
He then asked her to move out of the area as it was obviously upsetting me, how dare he, does he not have a caring emotion towards his daughter at all?
The final straw, to which I then told him to leave my house was...'Do me a favour Andi, take her for a drugs test she's on something'.
At that moment I promised I would never tell Rach she should go and see her dad, he did not deserve this wonderful child who at that time was desperate for some affection from him. We did not expect him to approve but he never asked her any questions regards her welfare, in fact he just walked away.
That was the first time Rach ever heard me swear, I could only think of one word to describe him...Wanker!
No comments:
Post a Comment