(116) Not the outcome we expected...

W went for surgery on Sunday24th April.  Everything went well, surgeon happy with the procedure.  On the Tuesday, W text me early in the morning to say he had passed wind...Brilliant, never thought I would be celebrating my son having wind!!
On the Wednesday W had  to have a small procedure as there was a hematoma in the original stoma opening, I managed to finish work immediately to be with him as he was still not confident that everything was going to be successful. Everything was good.
On the Thursday W's stomach was quite enlarged and he was experiencing a lot of pain, on the Friday the surgeon was becoming concerned, he had not had a bowel movement and his stomach was very enlarged.  The surgeon who was fabulous, decided to send  him for a CT scan, this came back but didn't show anything up in particular, join was good, surgeon says the swelling is due to the incisions.  On the Saturday the surgeon made the decision to open W up as his stomach was still swollen and bruising had appeared at the tops of his legs, also he was suffering a tremendous lot of pain.
W had to sign the consent and we had the discussion with the surgeon that he may have to put the stoma back.
W went in to surgery at 4pm. At 8.30pm the surgeon broke the worst news to me.  W was in a mess, adhesions had attached themselves around the bowel and intestine, the join had come apart.  Due to the amount of surgery he had had, W had to stay in intensive care for 24 hours then he was having further surgery to put in the stoma.  The following day I was unable to see him. On the Monday I got there early and met with the surgeon.  Due to W's bowel being in a mess he had had to remove more of the small and large intestine, the stoma would not fit in one hole, he had to make two incisions so W would have two stoma bags. W was unaware. he surgeon broke the news to W.

24 days later I have W back home.  It has been a very difficult time, very tiring I have done 2000 miles driving back and forth to the hospital.
On the plus side W is very well due to the care at this hospital being superb.  He is putting weight on and the stoma output is excellent, we have learnt so much.
Only down side is W's emotional  state, he has had a couple of breakdowns.  Work have been great with him and he can't wait to get back.
Money side of things, again the hospital have been very helpful, the bill has been reduced greatly, the surgeon will not be billing W, the ward sister has negotiated a reduced fee for the room cost and he had no food whilst he was on the private route! The surgeon transferred him on to the NHS after 5 days which was agreed at the consultation.

W is now questioning why did he decide to have the hysterectomy in the first place?  Would he have been happy if he had stayed as who he was? Is he happier now but with a stoma?
My answer is, he's a happy, confident, lovely young man, with a very rosy future and I wouldn't want him any different;  this is only another little blip in his quest to carry on with the life that he is mapping out for himself.