(75) Face to Face with Grandad...

W eventually arranged to visit Grandad...

Thursday evening W called Grandad to see if he was in so he could go and visit. Grandad answered the phone and for the 1st time didn't call him Matt. So off W went.
I sat at home with no idea what the outcome was going to be, luckily my friend had called round so I had somebody to take my mind off things.
An hour later W returned...
W was happy and chatty, Grandad never mentioned the transition, never mentioned his short hair, which in the past has always told him to grow it, and never mentioned the facial hair. Grandad acted as if he had only seen him a couple of days ago. Throughout his visit Grandad did not refer to a name and only once went to call him Rach but stopped himself.
W was concerned about his overall conversation as he repeated the same topic a couple of times, not sure how his mental health is, but a happy outcome. W is going to start regular visits again so hopefully everything is fine!
We can both breathe a big sigh of relief now.

Picture-Jan 13

(74) Grandad update...

Like I said in my earlier post W has attempted to contact Grandad but he's not been at home. 
W spoke to Matt and Matt told him that Grandad had asked for his number...So last night W decided to ring him. Grandad was in and chatted away like nothing had been said. W has told him he will nip over and show him his new (2nd hand) car he has just had. Wondering now what state of mind Grandad is in, hope when he see's W it's not too much of a shock, it was last December since he actually saw him.

(73) No Response yet!!

Grandad has read the letter as Matt was at his house when he got it with his post last Monday. Grandad made no comment to Matt and wandered off into his garage.
W has rang him a few times at the beginning of the week but no answer and no returned calls. I think W is now delaying calling as he is concerned about being rejected.

On Wednesday W was coming out of the supermarket as his dad was walking in, he did a double look at W and carried on walking. W came home quite upset and told me how he felt. W explained that he doesn't miss the man but really misses having a dad. Quite an emotional week for him on the whole.
How can you walk past your own child? I find that really hard to understand.

Had a good catch up with my eldest sis yesterday, not really discussed W and where we are at for a while. I felt a little emotional discussing it all and telling her about W's dad ignoring him and waiting for grandad's response.

Still waiting for the re-arranged appointment to Charing Cross. Wish it would hurry up, hate to think that W would have graduated and probably be in his first full time job by the time we have any operations and will need a lot of time off, sods law!

(72) It's time we told Grandad...

Not posted anything for a while...Everything is going extremely well, I've got two very handsome young boys.

W should have gone to Charing Cross last week for his second appointment but had to postpone as he is still waiting for pay day, just waiting for a new appointment now. I did offer to lend him some but he refused, he feels very narked about having to go through this whole 'tell me about yourself ' process for the umpteenth time.

W has been looking around local garages to part ex his car. I went with him last week and we were in a garage very close to where his grandad lives. It was going through my mind that if grandad drove past and saw W's bright yellow car he would stop to see him, W has avoided visiting him for a while now, he does ring him to see if he is OK.
I mentioned my concern to W as it would be a very embarrassing situation, W has very dark facial hair and of course his voice is quite deep.
After our chat W suggested that he could send him a letter, this is not the coward's way out but W would be devastated if he disowned him.
So W asked if I could put a letter together for him as he was finding it very difficult.

We put a letter together, very basic explaining that he finds it hard to tell him to his face, also how his dad has disowned him and he hopes he doesn't. We mentioned that he had had medical help etc and he was now living as a man. We finished the letter by saying that I was supporting him and Matt was fine about it all too and he hoped he would give him the chance to talk to him and explain it more in depth. W said he would ring him in a couple of days.
I agreed to push it through the door, easier said than done, whenever the boys ring him he's hardly ever at home...I made 5 journeys to push it through each time he was at home. To get to his door you have to walk up the front garden steps and then directly past his sitting room window so I would have been seen. He has not spoken to me since I left his son 12 years ago and I didn't want to create anymore conflict, he would have been on the phone straight away to W's dad and then he would have been ringing me and telling me to keep of his dad's property, mmm lovely family!!
Today I had a brainwave, I asked my nephew to push it through, grandad would have thought it was a kid posting leaflets if he saw him, so now the deed has been done, we'll sit back and wait for the fireworks or the happy ending!