Reality is hitting now.
Was doing OK until my sister asked how I was at the weekend, it's the first time anybody has asked how I was feeling about it, felt a little choked but passed it off and changed the subject. She asked if I had booked the hotel, I hadn't but I have now...I know it's happening and getting close but at the same time feel like it's never going to happen.
Since the weekend I have had a little bit of time to myself and caught myself thinking about the whole situation, felt a little down about it but I'm sure that is natural.
I am avoiding any conversation about the operation.
I am in the middle, worrying about how W is feeling and reassuring him, then covering my feelings so as not to concern him. Very mixed emotions, but I'm sure if he was having his tonsils out I would be this paranoid mummy!!
A friend dropped by earlier who I have not seen in months. He was very impressed with W's masculinity and how relaxed he was as W. He mentioned the anxiety as W had worked part time for him a while ago and he had witnessed this. As this has subsided now it's obvious that the dysphoria was the root of it, as time goes by I forget just how ill W had been at times.
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