(114) Light at the end of the tunnel

I did some research on the good old Internet and found a surgeon who was happy to take on W's  reversal privately.
We had an appointment earlier this evening to discuss.  Mr Titu, he is based at Murrayfield private hospital at the Wirral, this is the Spire group.  Lovely gentleman, he  gave W a thorough examination and had received lots of notes off Mr Farmer so he had a good insight to everything.  What was even better, he  never once mentioned W's reassignment surgery.

We are just waiting on a price, due to the complexity of this operation it will cost more due to the intense after care after the operation.  If  all goes to plan with the price, he is booked in on the 23rd April.  Hopefully a light at the end of this never ending tunnel.

W's girlfriend has set up a go fund me account.  I have put the link below, any donation would be greatly appreciated.

(113) Another unhappy update!

I really wish I could write something more positive, this situation is getting me down now, W is beside himself.
We looked into the private route, the surgeon who did the op does do private too, fab! Not!

After a long phone call with his secretary she called back with a price and said she would put him forward, she did explain that there would be a chance he would not do it privately.
Two weeks later, W received a call to be told the devastating news that he would not do it as it was to complex!  Not sure what he meant by that as W was dumbfounded and couldn't ask any questions.
W has since rang the secretary to get this op done as soon as possible, now we're told it is looking more  like 18 months, can it get any worse.
We fully appreciate that all of the cancer patients are priority but it's looking like this op will never, ever take place.
In the mean time, W has now returned to work full time, he has had his timetable increased and has to do three assignments by the middle of March.  He is also struggling to eat and drink due to the embarrassing noises it makes and the constant emptying of it, he will  never put his weight back on living like this. This is putting a big strain on his relationship as he is always working and is too tired to do anything due to him getting up 5 times in the night to sort the bag.
I  have not seen W so low for a long time, he is very emotional and angry and so over tired.

We both have an appointment with our GP this week, I am hoping he will  do something as I am not coping very well at the moment, I am exhausted and concerned for W's mental health as he has said he has suicidal thoughts.  W has been asked by the secretary to get  a letter off his GP stating his mental health state to help to move him up this mile long list, it will cost, but who cares!

We have discussed the holiday which we have booked for August, realistically we may have to postpone it, I suppose that is the least  of our worries.

(112) Not happy...

We had the appointment with the bowel surgeon a week last Thursday.  After a few mmm's and arh's and advising W it would be close to 6 months from the op before they would reverse the Ileostomy, they agreed to put W on to the emergency waiting list.  Brilliant, a light at the end of this tunnel we have found ourselves in!

W had to call the surgeons secretary 2 weeks later,  he called a week later.  Gutted, the waiting list is at least 6 months long from now, W was so upset when he called me at work.  This means the fantastic holiday he has booked will be ruined, all of these years of living in the wrong body and now this to stop him from living life, I feel so sorry for him.
W's mood just got darker, he is feeling quite aggressive anyway and I am fed up of him biting my head off. 
The Dr had already suggested that he could increase his citalopram, he has decided against it as he was so close to been off it completely just before this emergency, this would be another set back.
I suggested that he called his stoma nurse as surely he is classed as an emergency as he is feeling very depressed and that concerns me. W called the secretary again and expressed how this was affecting his whole life, his job and training are been affected, he is unable to go out for long periods of time, the constant alarm setting throughout the night and then he has to get up early to go to work and do the agreed 2 hour phased return to work he is absolutely shattered; this should have been increased after half term but W is still not eating whilst out, as he finds it very embarrassing due to  the noises it makes and the constant filling up after, it's a long day with no food and drink.
W was referred to a  counsellor, but like everything else there's a pathetic long waiting list and no dietician insight!

We are discussing whether or not to go down the private route, not sure how we would pay or even any idea to a cost.
There may be a fund raising plan on the horizon!

(111) Update

We got through Christmas don't know how but it happened!!
W was still quite unwell but at least he was home.

We  were concerned about his teacher training as he was contracted for two years and the first year would now overlap the second.  The school were fantastic, very supportive and told him to return when he felt ready, hopefully he was aiming for the first week back after the New Year. 
Unfortunately W was still not physically well enough, the district nurse was still coming out daily as he still had quite an open wound so he was unable to return.
The school had a meeting with the school's direct coordinator to discuss his return and deadlines. W had to make the decision to return as they were going to restart his contract in September!
The Dr was not happy but obviously couldn't stop him from returning, the Dr did put restrictions on his return to work note.
W started back last Monday on a phased return, once again the school have been very supportive and given him lots of flexibility, taking in to account what the Dr has advised. So far so good, this is good for his mental health too, as he is not moping around the house!
W is just doing a couple of hours in the morning, then he is working at home, this fits around the nurse calling in to do his dressings.

Good news- W now has his birth certificate.

(110) Home for Christmas...

After a traumatic 6 weeks W has finally being discharged from hospital.

W was originally discharged on Monday 7th December, I felt that he was not well enough but I supported him like a mum would. I arranged time off work and so did S his girlfriend, he was in a terrible mess, pain and emotionally. The pain was becoming worse in his back and I was  having to pad him with pillows so he could have some sleep.  On the Saturday he was passing out with the pain and his breathing had become very shallow, early evening  his temperature was through the roof and he was trembling, his eyes were wide open and he appeared very scared.  I rang the hospital and I drove him straight there.  An X ray was taken and he had a litre and a half  of fluid on his lung  causing it to collapse.  He was put on a drip and on strong painkillers.  The next day he was taken to have a drain put into the lung.  After 12 days he was allowed home, so far so good.  There is still a collection of fluid on the lung, he will have to have regular X rays until it has cleared.
Just need to fatten him up now as he has lost nearly 3 stone!

The actual gender reassignment is a breeze compared to the secondary effects he has of surgery, poor kid he has it tough, now to get over the next 6 months and he can have the stoma reversed.

Merry Christmas to you all and a  very happy 2016 xx

(109) Major blip...

Can't believe what has happened!
Couple of weeks ago W was up in the night vomiting. 30 odd hours later after continuous vomiting and excruciating stomach pains he was admitted to hospital.  
After lots of prodding off various nurses and doctors, he was given a morphine drip to enable him to lie down so he could have a CT scan.  A couple of hours later, devastating news, W had a blockage in the bowel and seepage, they were uncertain to what extent until they opened him up.

Emergency surgery in the night.  They had to remove 6cm of his bowel and put a stoma in!!
The bowel had attached itself to the scarring of the hysterectomy and twisted, the bowel had been starved of oxygen and died therefore creating the blockage and had to be removed.  The stoma is temporary, but W is devastated, I think he has been through every emotion possible.
6 days in critical care, 5  days in special care, W was moved on to a normal ward last night, he's the youngest one there.  Can't wait for him to come home.

Another set back to the planned operation just before Christmas, so close yet so far to reaching the end of his surgery!

(108) GRC

W has applied for his Gender Recognition Certificate.

After lots of paperwork evidence collecting from over the past few years he sent it all off.  The court hearing is this Wednesday 18th November.

My feelings are very bizarre at the moment, it's great news and I am happy that finally all legal documentation is completed;  on the other hand I feel  that the birth of my daughter has been wiped away and I am feeling quite emotional.  I think a good cry and then everything will be absolutely fine again.